When you reach a certain age, whether you work or are a stay-at-home parent, you start looking at the people around you and unconsciously comparing your position to theirs. Many questions pop into your mind about self-fulfillment and achievements in life.
What have I been successful at thus far? Is it enough to provide for my children's needs? Is there anything I can be proud of? What is my own success story?
In this circumstance, you have two options: the first is that you have accomplished a lot and are in a good spot, which is great news.
The fight normally begins when you are dissatisfied with your own responses.
This could be the start of a long emotional and mental conflict with which you will become entangled.
That's my story, and I'd love to share it with you.
It all began during COVID when we were all locked up at home and lasted for around 2 years after on and off. As a working mom, I was taking care of my daughters’ online classes to ensure their attendance while also doing my work, whether it was team meetings or business reviews.
The repetitiveness and the routine killed me, and that was when my mind started taking over and the overthinking began.
My marriage had some hitches as well, but nothing to worry about; it was just stress from the situation and having to face each other 24/7. There was no room for anyone.
Going back to my brain and how it messed me up, I began to develop a mindset in which the more existential questions I ask myself, the more I despise the answers and raise a deeper and darker inquiry about why I exist. I was drawn into a year of depression that I believed was just a lack of trust in God, but the nonstop crying and inability to socialize were so upsetting that my husband and I began to wonder if there was something more going on. I had not a single reason to assume I was a depressed woman.
I am a self-conscious and self-aware person, so seeing myself sad all the time prompted me to Google my symptoms and ask the standard how to get rid of depression question.
Finally, I decided I needed to see a therapist, which led to the diagnosis of mild depression with severe anxiety & sleeping disorder.
I couldn't sleep, and when I did, I had constant nightmares that caused me to wake up crying at times. The doctor determined that I needed to be put on medication, at least initially, to stabilize my mood so that we could continue with the sessions.
After 3 or 4 days, I realized the drugs were not for me. I was numb and tangled up. My brain seemed to be digesting things slowly, which made me sadder than before.
I told my doctor that I was eager to heal but would not be taking any medications during the recovery period.
I could see myself becoming better at dealing with my emotions session after session. Progress was slow but I felt more like my old self.
I learned a lot, but the most important lesson was that I should never allow my mind to manipulate me since what my brain tells me isn't always true.
If your brain tells you that you are a failure who has done nothing for yourself, the first thing you should do is not wallow in self-pity like I did. First and foremost, recognize your blessings; even minor accomplishments for you might serve as success stories for others.
I realized that we were all born with a purpose and that we should not live solely for ourselves. Giving back to others and paying it forward can provide a much greater sense of self-fulfillment than starting a business and making a fortune.
Additionally, I learned that not all cases of depression are due to mental illness; some symptoms can also result from a deficiency in certain minerals and vitamins. My problem was triggered due to a magnesium deficiency, so once I started taking it as a supplement, I observed that my symptoms were fading, and my mood improved.
If you are experiencing depression symptoms, if you are feeling gloomy and depressed if you feel useless without a purpose in life,
That is normal and acceptable. Simply pause, take a deep breath, and recognize that you are not alone in this.
Don't give up; instead, do your research, seek support, and talk about it because there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I was there, and I got out by knocking on the right doors. I might have my depression back and fall into the big, dark hole again. But you know what? I am not afraid because It is okay, I knew how to get myself out the first time and I can do it again. I will consider it another challenge to overcome.
Remember, you are strong even in your weaknesses. Just believe and don't give up on yourself.
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